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Apology for absence and explanation. (Surgery Sept 10) 
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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 5:25 am
Posts: 577
I was going to put this in "off-topic"- but it would be lost in all the adds for viagra.

I'm having major abdominal surgery September 10th to correct an overgrowth of scar tissue from a surgery years ago. I am on heavy narcotics so that is why my participation is sporadic lately.

Only my spouse will be there for me; we decided to leave our kindred for many reasons: Oathbreaking of kindred rules by other members (warnings unheeded), heavy drug use by some members that was ignored, and increased public exposure with political organizations I want no affiliation with. All things I tried to bring attention to, and all ignored. We moved, only one member helped and the rest did nothing- despite us helping them. No reciprocity indicated to me we were being taken advantage of.

I did my best- but when the national organizations put pressure on me to reign in the Goethe from his thoughtless very public actions- I realized I am an educated Odinist Chaplain and Clergyperson, not a baby sitter, and I cannot pressure any man or woman to do what is right- I can only advise....nor should I be "working" for organizations to which I do not pay dues.

And when the actions of the other clergy of the kindred put other's in danger and I could not stop it- I knew it was not my "job" to fix that which is broken beyond repair. The kindred is dispersing anyway-with people moving away and such- but with my illness, I could not afford the extra stress of feeling surrounded by metaphorical children in a "clubhouse" where rules were broken without consequence rather than a dedicated group adults bound by Honor an Frith.

Our kindred was based on silence and being out of the public eye, having no affiliations with the drama of the national organizations, and on the Honor and Honesty of all members. Tyr is my patron (and Loki the other), to be in such an environment made me dread our events in the end as my spouse and I were surrounded by people who seemed to mistakenly believe Odinism is nothing more than a cover for "approved" alcoholism and uneducated racism.

For instance: Not realizing the word "Caucasian" means "From the Caucus Mountain region between Iran and Turkey" and "Aryan" is a cognate of Iranian- basically, they caught the "Nazi flu" and this time, education couldn't pull them out of it!

I only drink at ritual- which was how we began almost a decade ago.

We have not made the information public in our region that we have done so since I am not in condition on these heavy narcotics to trust myself to speak my truth clearly as is required and also, that we will likely be starting up own own Ritual schedule again on our own land when I'm on the mend. There was one other time I left the kindred for the same issues- started my own Hall, and it was successful. At the time we had a one bedroom apartment. Now, we have a house on land.

This will likely please some people and upset others since both my spouse and I worship the entire pantheon without excluding Loki or the benevolent Jotunr. If we were in Europe, we would be closer to people of similar mindset.

All I ask is for the guiding hand of the Gods for no complications and a speedy recovery- In this group I have found more people of strong morality and faith in one place than I have my own community. (There are good Odinists in the community I live in, but they are stretched thin by their responsibilities of harvest-time and work)

My biological family is absent due to their own problems and my dearest friends live either across the country or overseas.

I know the Odin Brotherhood to be Gods-centric people, and I feel trusting you with my upset is safest. Leaving a kindred is like leaving toxic family. There is relief and sorrow commingled.

If any of you are well-acquainted with the healing Gods and Goddesses, keep me in mind.

Hail and thank you, brothers and sisters- and I do look forward to bearing the three cuts of my faith in the coming year at Solstice.

Thu Sep 03, 2015 2:56 am
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Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:44 pm
Posts: 1546
I ask Eir to guide those who attend you.

I ask that Tyr give you the strength to face that which must come.

I ask Loki to be with you while you endure.

I ask Skuld to be merciful in her weaving of your future.

I am sorry for pain you have faced with both your medical issues and the social problems arising from you kindred. As a solitary and secret practitioner I cannot relate to your kindred troubles but I am all too familiar with physical pain. I wish you luck and a rapid and uncomplicated recovery.

Thu Sep 03, 2015 11:33 am
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Joined: Tue Jun 16, 2015 5:25 am
Posts: 577
Thank you, that was a very beautiful blessing to gift to me and it is short enough for me to remember as I need it.

A good friend gave me a complicated translation of an old devotional to Eir years ago- but I hid it in my hospital room just as many years ago before I left hoping someone who would need it more than I would find it.

Fri Sep 04, 2015 6:24 am
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