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long post about dream,career, and advice 
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Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2012 11:08 pm
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My dream takes place as I am coming back from being on leave and instead of it being my younger self who was actually in the army, the dream was current. I show up with a shaved head/scalp lock on the crown of my head about 6 inches long pulled back in a ponytail and a beard long enough to touch my chest. (that would be an incredibly long vacation period to grow that much hair.)
I show up to the barracks which were very tall. Not quite a sky scraper, but the tallest set of barracks I have ever seen. (my old ones were 4 stories high and these were taller.) There was an elevator inside of the barracks (which I may have seen, but never seen anyone use it). The bottom floor of the barracks was almost like a mall. Wide open with thousands of young soldiers in it. It was strange because all the soldiers were wearing their uniforms and hair according to regulation, but I am walking around in my ACU's with a scalp lock and full beard. Although I was wearing a uniform, in the military you are considered OUT of uniform if your grooming standards are not up to regulation. In the dream, I was junior enlisted and so was everyone else. There were no NCO's and no officers to be found.
It was strange because I showed up late. Leave ends at 11:59 pm the day you are supposed to be back and I showed up the next morning to report for duty. Some of the other junior enlisted were shocked and telling me that I was AWOL and on top of that showed up violating the AR670-1 AND I was supposed to be on CQ watch (barracks watch, checking people in and making sure things aren't getting out of hand) in 15 minutes. There was no emotion in the dream except for when they told me I was AWOL, I felt fear. I said that I didn't know I had to report in the night before so long as I showed up for duty the next morning (in real life I knew better). I went up the elevator with my pony tail. When I came back down, my head was bald, but I still had my beard and walked up to the CQ desk where there was another junior enlisted waiting to be relieved from duty, but still no NCO. He scolded me for my beard and being late and I told him I just got back from leave and did he want me to relieve him? Then I sat down and began watch and woke up.

I have a beard and a shaved head. I was growing a scalp lock but got too self conscious and shaved it off. I was in the army, but never late, awol, or in violation of any regulation.
Also notable is that Heimdallr is probably the god who I am closest too, and as you know who keeps watch for the Aesir. I have spent time in the army, on watch in the army, and also as a civilian guard of a military installation.
I feel like part of the reason I am doing the homestead thing has to do with me being “watchful”. Modern society is garbage in my opinion and it seems like not many people see that. It is my way of watching the world and the times without being part of it.
The symbolism of being late: Right now I have been downgrading my business to work on my homestead. My truck has over 300,000 miles on it and I have been considering going to EMT school so I could get a part time job on an ambulance during the summer and working full time in the winter, because I feel a need for an “official” way to help people as well as have some steady money that is not dependent on me to hustle up the work. At the same time, I just cant bring myself to work for anybody else...and I will never shave my beard or conform to any sort of grooming standard any company would put on me. I also have not been one to do what he is told to do ever since I got out of the army. I do what I want when I want.

So I have been debating whether I should use my GI Bill to study psychology, communication, or journalism. I always wanted to have a creative job, but was always discouraged from it and in a way have not had the confidence to do so, because it is not “practical”. I have been very concerned about being left without any transportation, because where I live, I am so far away from everything, I just about have to have a vehicle to get around.
Also, I am just turning the 30 and that has been on my mind. Question like, “You're not as young as you used to be, what are you doing with your life and are you really doing the right thing?”
The school thing: I want everything in my life to be of the earth and spiritual. If I could make a living somehow making and selling Odinist crafts or books, etc. I just don't want anything in my life at this point to be outside of the earth and the spiritual.
It would seem like owning and running a landscape company would be earthy, but I don't like the chemicals or rich subdivisions, petroleum, etc. I'm tired of people who are too lazy to take care of their own yard. Also, even though landscaping and lawn maintenance is my expertise, sometimes people still want to treat me like I am their "yard boy" and then I just tell them to find someone else.
dream sybolism
Barracks 
To dream that you are living in barracks suggest that you are in a restrictive situation. You need to bring some change in your life.
Military 
To see the military in your dream signifies rigid authority and emotional repression. Perhaps you need to be more disciplined.
Ponytail 
To dream that you are wearing a ponytail symbolizes a casual and carefree attitude.
Beard 
To see a long beard in your dream is representative of old age and insight, and wisdom.
Bald 
To dream that you are going bald suggests a lack of self-esteem or worries about getting older. Alternatively, baldness symbolizes humility, purity, and personal sacrifice. You are at a stage in your life where you are confident in fully exposing yourself.
Uniform 
To dream that you or someone is in uniform signifies your need to belong or be part of a group. Alternatively, the dream may suggest that you are conforming too much to the beliefs of others. Learn to think for yourself and be your own person.
Elevator 
To dream that you are ascending in an elevator represents a rise to status and wealth. You may have risen to a higher level of consciousness and are looking at the world from an elevated viewpoint. In general, the up and down action of the elevator represents the ups and downs of your life. It also symbolizes emotions and thoughts that are emerging out of and submerging into your subconscious. Alternatively, the dream may have sexual connotations.
Late 
To dream that you are late signifies your fear of change and your ambivalence about seizing an opportunity. You may feel unready, unworthy, or unsupported in your current circumstances. Additionally, you may be overwhelmed or conflicted with decisions about your future. Time is running out and you no longer have time to accomplish all the things you want. Alternatively, being late in your dream could be telling you that it is better late than never
Watchman 
To dream that you are a watchman suggests that you need to be on the look out for something or someone out to do you harm. Keep your guard up.

Vacation 
To dream that you are on vacation indicates that you need a break to recharge your energies and revitalize yourself. You need to break out of your daily routine and do something different. Alternatively, dreaming of a vacation represents your achievements. You are giving yourself a pat on the back and are deserving of a reward for your hard work


Mon Feb 06, 2017 3:42 pm
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If there was no NCO or other commanding officers- perhaps the beard was to symbolize that was to be your position.

The ability to flaunt rules applied to others also symbolizes power- And you may not have considered this, but psychology (and theology in my case) degrees would allow you to become a better guide to the whole of Odinism.

We have no shortage of people who claim to be magical clergy members- but a severe shortage of people trained to serve the people and help guide, and "watch over" them the best we are able.

With a psychology degree you would be one of the only people in our entire religion in the field and sought after for polytheist-based council as well as the professional experience on how to handle crisis.

It would be a very good role for a Heimdallrsman.


Mon Feb 06, 2017 8:12 pm
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Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2012 11:08 pm
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Tyrienne wrote:
If there was no NCO or other commanding officers- perhaps the beard was to symbolize that was to be your position.

The ability to flaunt rules applied to others also symbolizes power- And you may not have considered this, but psychology (and theology in my case) degrees would allow you to become a better guide to the whole of Odinism.

We have no shortage of people who claim to be magical clergy members- but a severe shortage of people trained to serve the people and help guide, and "watch over" them the best we are able.

With a psychology degree you would be one of the only people in our entire religion in the field and sought after for polytheist-based council as well as the professional experience on how to handle crisis.

It would be a very good role for a Heimdallrsman.

Tyrienne,
That was very helpful. I had not looked at it that way. I had considered the fact that there are all these Xian counselors and 12 step programs and how it would be cool if there were an Odinist/Pagan counselor out there... That has never really been my thing. I used to be on the receiving end of that, but managed to conquer all of that for the past 5 years. I used to think about how I only ever found one counselor who was worth my time and how everyone else just copied things out of books and had no life experience or empathy. Now that I have myself together for the most part I have felt the need to give back. I never considered it as the role of a watchman though.
Another reason I considered it is because I could control my schedule and only have to work with people one on one, which is more my speed. Thanks for your insight.


Mon Feb 06, 2017 9:02 pm
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It sounds like the exact same road I traveled to get here... My PTSD had me seeing therapists and help all my life, and now that my mental stability is improved I take everything I learned while I was in madness that helped me survive and apply it and what I learned in college to help people in crisis, especially others of our Gods.

If this is meant to be your destiny, it is a wonderful destiny to be the first among the first Odinist of this age to be a healer of the psychiatric kind. The therapy you give others and what you learn can be turned into books so our people no longer feel like outsiders in programs formed around Christian values to which we cannot relate.

An easy example is In 12 step programs, the words "We/They/I am/are powerless" are the words antithesis of our ancestry. We have difficulties that we strive to overcome and we work always to gain knowledge and move forward. As a chaplain, I cannot petition to change the wording on a Christian group- but as a psychologist/professional you would have a stronger voice to make these necessary changes and inspire programs that hold to our values and improve the health of all our people so they do not have to experience the negatives we have faced in trying to uphold our values and explain them time and again to people who cannot comprehend polytheism or our ethic and how it influences, both positively and negatively, our healing processes.

For you and I both- our worst times in life could be what was needed to be who we are now and what we can aspire to become in leaving a profound and helpful legacy.

As Odinists, I am quite sure we would tend more towards self hatred if we lose productivity than a Christian, and most resent being forced into positions of submission. Changing psychology to reflect that we can derive inner power from the brave examples of our Gods in times of trouble and how even Ragnorak leads to new beginnings helps more than being told to get on one's knees and pray for forgiveness for crimes we never committed against a God we do not belong to.


Mon Feb 06, 2017 9:34 pm
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I can't help you with your dream interpretation - for me, trying to 'nut out' the symbolism moves my focus away from my gut feeling.

As for career - if you are earthy and spiritual, perhaps your path could lead you down the track of teaching - organic farming, kitchen gardens, composting, something along those lines. Schools, community gardens (or start one), local councils (do you have those in the US?). I know a lot of people want to know how to be more self sufficient and are keen to grow their own food. This would be utilising the skills you already possess and your love of the land. Just my thoughts - to go back to study would take another three to four years out of your life and you would then (again) become a part of mainstream life - something you have tried very hard to remove yourself from.

As for turning 30 ... don't let that worry you! :) Life isn't over yet, you have many years ahead of you to be productive and fulfill your wants and needs. It is never too late to learn a knew skill or change career - never stop learning. Stormr


Tue Feb 07, 2017 8:45 pm
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Interesting. Thank you, both Tyrienne and Stormr.

I think I found what I need between the two of you. I somewhat mislead everyone with my degree choices i put above, because I wanted to see the outcome of the advice instead of leading it.

A while back, I discovered that in my state I can become a certified drug and alcohol abuse counselor through taking certain college courses and without having a degree. Instead of a degree I would have to perform so many thousands of hours of supervised clinical experience and pass an exam. In the mean time, I have actually been on the receiving end of energy healing and other alternative medicine forms, partly for injury and partly to experience something that I have always been interested in. I would like to learn EFT, shadow work, and energy healing.
I want my homestead to be my "main occupation". The others I just want to do to have something outside of myself and to give back on my own time and not anyone elses. I previously went to school for theology as well, Tyrienne. I never got a degree, but was thinking about going to school for philosophy, because i think some of those credits would transfer and I would have just enough benefits left from the military to get my associates degree. I just want that piece of paper because it will be free and I will have a little extra money from it as well.
I think that being a certified drug and alcohol abuse counselor who knows energy healing with an Associates degree in philosophy would still benefit our people. It would still help me write, and I would still be able to focus on my homestead and stay out of the mainstream.
After what Tyrienne said yesterday, I got the ball rolling today. Stormr, you helped to steady my path instead of going too far in the mainstream direction, thank you.


Tue Feb 07, 2017 11:18 pm
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Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2012 11:08 pm
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Maybe that was the meaning of the dream.

Partly in the mainstream (army setting), but still doing what I want (hair and beard, showing up for watch when i wanted), watching over people (cq watch), and I was just anxious over what was the right course of action (awol).

I have a clear head now.


Wed Feb 08, 2017 12:44 am
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Norse Storm wrote:
I can't help you with your dream interpretation - for me, trying to 'nut out' the symbolism moves my focus away from my gut feeling.

As for career - if you are earthy and spiritual, perhaps your path could lead you down the track of teaching - organic farming, kitchen gardens, composting, something along those lines. Schools, community gardens (or start one), local councils (do you have those in the US?). I know a lot of people want to know how to be more self sufficient and are keen to grow their own food. This would be utilising the skills you already possess and your love of the land. Just my thoughts - to go back to study would take another three to four years out of your life and you would then (again) become a part of mainstream life - something you have tried very hard to remove yourself from.

As for turning 30 ... don't let that worry you! :) Life isn't over yet, you have many years ahead of you to be productive and fulfill your wants and needs. It is never too late to learn a knew skill or change career - never stop learning. Stormr


Before reading the rest of this thread, my reaction to this post was "Why not do both?"

You all beat me to it...


Wed Feb 08, 2017 4:51 am
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