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Spear Boast 
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Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2014 7:43 pm
Posts: 164
Spear Boast

Hail to you, o' long-bladed canopy of the warband,
the glorious and age-old keeper-at-bay of the enemy of the folk.
He who wields you with the skill and precision of your maker,
will be known as the king of the battlefield.
This is a title rightly-given,
for neither the hauberk of mail nor the strong-timbered shield,
are unsunderable when put before you.
The war-shaft's fine-filed point and broad cutting-edge,
are the works of smith-wizardry.
Blows hot-hammered over the anvil,
shaped with strikes of wisdom and foresight,
they make for a blade sea-woven,
which will preform feats of wizardry itself on the field.
The iron-strong ridge of your core,
is the same strength which keeps our people from folding.

Dont have this one in an Old Germanic language yet :)


Mon Dec 11, 2017 10:55 pm
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Joined: Thu Sep 07, 2017 1:07 am
Posts: 126
DefenderofMountains wrote:
Spear Boast

Hail to you, o' long-bladed canopy of the warband,
the glorious and age-old keeper-at-bay of the enemy of the folk.
He who wields you with the skill and precision of your maker,
will be known as the king of the battlefield.
This is a title rightly-given,
for neither the hauberk of mail nor the strong-timbered shield,
are unsunderable when put before you.
The war-shaft's fine-filed point and broad cutting-edge,
are the works of smith-wizardry.
Blows hot-hammered over the anvil,
shaped with strikes of wisdom and foresight,
they make for a blade sea-woven,
which will preform feats of wizardry itself on the field.
The iron-strong ridge of your core,
is the same strength which keeps our people from folding.

Dont have this one in an Old Germanic language yet :)


The present-day vernacular works just fine. I'm a bit more competent in that than old Gothic or such.


Fri Dec 15, 2017 12:40 pm
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Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 4:18 am
Posts: 337
It's a good boast. I really enjoy kennings as much as possible, in any form of literary tradition, and I see how you pulled them off rather fluidly. You did not ask for feedback and I hesitate to offer constructive feedback for the sake of not wanting to offend, but I have a thought that I would share that comes from a reputable colleague of mine. Germanic-derived vocabulary is generally best for short-prose and poetry in English language writing. Etymologically only two words in your entire poem stood out as non-Germanic: Glorious and Precision. There is an art to selecting vocabulary and your boast does not suffer from it, but I would be interested in reading the same boast with a kenning or two replacing those words. Again, this is not a criticism, just honest feedback from an old man.
Cheers,
r


Sat Dec 30, 2017 7:41 pm
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Joined: Fri Aug 15, 2014 7:43 pm
Posts: 164
You do not offend me, I share the appreciation and high-holding of Germanic language in these contexts. Thank you for your time in commenting on my work.


Thu Jan 04, 2018 2:29 pm
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